Shhh! It's a surprise.

Among the many things I am learning while being home, the fact that I am not a "cool" older sister is one of them.
Let me extrapolate:

I'm throwing my little brother an 18th birthday party. For some reason I thought this would make me like the world's greatest sister, but instead I'm stressing out. I literally had a nightmare last night that no one showed up and I had all this stuff ready and Michael just looked at it and then said he was going to hang out with his friends. Can you say anxiety?

When did this happen? When did I suddenly become so completely unaware of what was considered "hip" to all the 18 year-old? Or did I ever even know? --now that I think about it, I didn't even know what was cool when I was 18, a whole year and a half ago!

You know how some people are born with "old souls." I think I was born with a responsible soul. I'm not saying that I have never done anything stupid, because let's face it, I am basically the queen of not thinking before I speak, and I do a lot of things that make people uncomfortable. Just the other night, I thought I would do something "adventurous" so I bought ice cream, drove home and decided to turn the music up a little louder and sit on top of the car and stargaze. First of all, a ford fiesta is entirely too small for any person to sit on, it just is. Secondly, some nosy neighbor came up to me and asked if I was okay. Apparently I looked suspicious. Can you say awkward?...Never again. That being said, I have never done anything truly irresponsible. And believe me, I like it that way. I like feeling dependable and trustworthy, in fact, I get stomach aches when I feel like I have disappointed someone. Needless to say, this party makes me nervous.

It doesn't help that I am the adult supervision (unintentionally!) My dad is in Washington, so it's just me and the kids. When did I get so old?