Time to Put on my Big Girl Pants.

Seriously half the time what am I thinking? Maybe I'm not thinking. Maybe that is my problem. I don't think. Like this weekend, I clearly wasn't thinking when I blew of my real friend to hang out with people in my ward. That is what not thinking looks like.

You know what not thinking gets you? It gets you a 7th wheel on a triple date is what. (Go stargazing they said, it's not a date they said.) Note to self: I love Diana, but when she is concerned it's always a date. (Her on a date and me all alone and stuff.)

I may have had a minor freak out about this situation. (And by minor I mean I cried in the cold at 2 AM and refused to return to my apartment).

Honestly why? Why freak out about this. I know I am emotional and I know I cry, but sometimes crying only gets you so far. At some point I am going to have to put my big girl pants on and get over it. Crying isn't going to get my mission papers done, and crying isn't going to study for me and crying isn't going to make guys like me. In fact it's the opposite. It's a waste of time.

Now don't get me wrong. I know that there are times when every girl needs to watch an improperly categorized netflix movie and have a good cry. But seriously I tear up when people talk about puppies. It's a problem. And most of the time it's self-pity, which is the worst kind of pity because it's selfish.

So seriously what to do? Wear my heart on my sleeve, or make like the abominable snowman and be cold?


W.H. Arden said,

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

I'm not even applying this to my love life, because I don't have or want one (BUMP that I'm going on a mission!) But I'm talking with all of my relationships. I'm so needy. I want to be the person giving the advice, not the one demanding it. I need to grow up.

Pixie dust, fairy tales and T-Swift songs are cute when you are 8 years-old but there is a point where dreams either become goals or they go to the place where all abandoned dreams go (probably the same place where missing left socks go... why is it that only 1 of them gets lost. It kills me!) But I digress.

 Come on Bruno, be a man. Be tough. Or don't?