It's Just a Bad Day, Not a Bad Life

The series of events of this day were preposterous.

I woke up at 8:40 AM, which is normally a wonderful time of the day-- the sun shines, the birds chirp. But you don't have time to hear them if you are running to the 9AM class that you are late for.



I learned that lesson the hard way.

I also learned that BYU should have these signs



as to avoid students tripping (and landing completely flat on their face) on uneven ground when they are running with their backpacks on to the 9 AM class that they are late for. Seriously.

I wish I could say that I could see clearly now the rain was gone, and that it was going to be a bright, bright sunshiny day. But then my life would be easy and we all know I like a challenge.

I read the chapter the night before D&C. I had a quiz in D&C. I fail a quiz in D&C. Confused? Me too.


All but 5 printers on campus were broken today. It's times like that where I wonder if I'm Jim Carrey and the BYU bubble is just a town that television producers made to follow me around and film my life. If that's the case, y'all have a distorted view on entertainment.



All in all, today was pretty terrible but that's the way the cookie crumbles (another Jim Carrey reference) and I keep on rolling (in the deep).



(which almost makes this day worth it)

I think therefore I am

Everything is stressful for me right now. My classes, my social life, my spirituality (or rather lack thereof). Why is balance so hard? Why is homeostasis such an important part of our lives? Why am I having such a hard time finding it?

I feel like I'm not good enough. I hate that feeling. I want to punch that feeling in the face.

My sister says that this time of my life is the time that I am going to feel that way. I'm going to feel like I'm not good enough and like God doesn't love me. She said that the only way she got over it was by going on her mission.

I hate waiting.

I know I'm not being coherent, but this is literally the sequence of events that is going on in my mind.

I think I can do this. I don't know if I can, but maybe by thinking that I can, I just will.

Let's hope

Competition

It brings out the worst/best in people.

Have you ever wondered why some people thrive and some people crack under the pressure of competition?

I crack easier than an uncooked Easter egg that someone is carrying around on a spoon conveniently  placed inside their mouth. It's bad.

And yet when things come easily to me, I question why that is.

I hate competing for grades. I hate competing for attention. Most of all I hate competing for dryers when my clothes are sopping wet and just want to be dry but can't dry because the girl that had her clothes in before decided that she needed to do another load so she put her stuff in the dryer that you thought was going to be free but isn't because she had to wash her undies! I really hate that.

Darwin was wrong. Why can't our best be enough? Or better yet why can't we all just bake a cake full of rainbows and unicorns (yes that was a reference to Mean Girl, no I won't use anymore)?

In a world that's so full of mine, I wish there was a little more we. None for Gretchen Wieners (last one I promise).

and yet... I'm probably the most guilty of thinking about myself.

OHHH the irony!!!

Labor on Labor Day

Ironically enough, this labor day, I went to work.

Not literally work, because it was labor day and I'm pretty sure there is a law against that or something...

But I did HOME-work.

That sounds really lame. No I did not hike the many mountains in Utah this Labor Day (although there were definite plans) or hang out on the lake, but I sat outside in the grass, on carpet (LOOOOOng story) and did homework. It was relaxing.

I didn't think about how weird I probably seem to the girls living next door to us that hear our shouting and dancing and painting (Oh yeah, we painted a shopping cart this weekend), and I didn't worry about the boys (and girls!) in my ward that are RETURNED MISSIONARIES and really intimidating to talk to,  and I didn't worry about what I was going to eat for dinner that night (well maybe I worried about that one a little), but in that hour and a half that I was sitting in the sun on a carpet, in the grass outside my apartment, I worried about just one thing.

That's what I love about homework (how many people can say that?!?!) I love that for just a little while you worry about 1 class, 1 teacher, 1 assignment. And then your done, onto the next thing.

There is something almost therapeutic about that. Only 1 care in the world... that and the fact that you get to color coat, and anyone who knows me knows that I love me a 5 pack of highlighters (one for every class)